West Berkshire take heed as on Sunday 17th June 2012, an ancient prophecy will be fulfilled and once again Giants will walk the Earth. We, The Ancient Order of the Elk, have seen many signs in the wind, the trees and via communication with the most mythical and beautiful of all woodland creatures, the elk, that in Aldworth village, on this given date, a Giant who has been buried within the walls of the church will rise up from a 600 year slumber.
Man has long forgotten the truth about Giants, preferring to paint them as crude, violent animals, and so we feel it imperative that people relearn and remember the truth about Giants. When he awakes, this magical creature will be tired, hungry and confused, he may even lash out in confused desperation but please hold in your mind that he is nothing to fear. In contrast to their size, Giants are gentle, shy creatures that will be far more fearful of us than we are of him and he must be protected.
The Ancient Order of the Elk will do everything in our power to help this incredible creature but we will need your help. Please congregate at Aldworth Church on Sunday 17th June to aid in the protection and preservation of this most rare and wonderful Giant.
This all sounds very intriguing....
ReplyDeleteHow do I join the ANCIENT ORDER OF THE ELK?
ReplyDeleteAlas friendling, you cannot join the Ancient Order of The Elk,for we are as the breath of the doe on a misty spring morn,or the whisper of wind amongst lonely oaks.Also June the Secretary is on Special Measures & therefore unavailable until further notice.However in the meantime if you wish to meet with us there are 2 ways you can go about it.
DeleteFashion likenesses of the beasts of the forest from Turnip and display these on a Widdershins facing window the second Tuesday after a half-lambing moon, or the first Wednesday preceeding the Feast of Gogmagog.
Alternatively you can turn up in Market Square on the Eve of Herne's Capitulation (Saturday about lunchtime will do) dressed in Wodens Cloak of Vitality (a brown paper bag and some pipe cleaners are an acceptable alternative)and perform a Widdershins 'hetty' jig thrice.
If these tasks are performed to our satisfaction then you may indeed consider yourself an Acolyte of the Antler.